Somewhere Between Giving Up and Seeing How Much More I Can Take

I am at a point in my life where I won't force things anymore. What happens, happens...

What Would You Do With Your Last Hour of Internet?

As a generation that was born into an advance of technology, we couldn’t deny that our biggest treasure and major breakthrough of this world is internet access. Internet makes us unstoppable, it makes us think there is nothing we couldn’t do. Every information that we need, we could have it just by a single click. Well, except for some websites that need a special permission to be accessed into, or those secret information that heavily secured. But still, you get my point. Even I could get my bachelor degree on time thanks to the internet. We got an easier life than our forefather and fathers before him which makes us lazy. We got so attached to it, and would find functioning our daily lives without a single access to internet quite difficult, or rather irritating.

So what if by some odd reasons, you only have an hour left of internet before it shutting down forever. What would you do?

My biggest loss should I couldn't access the internet anymore is my life saver, Google Maps. My sense of direction is really poor that it took me sometime to get home from my office without getting lost first. I need to go through particular directions for a number of time before I could finally memorize them. Another loss is source of information. I question Google for everything. It is my next source of information after my mother, where I could get answers almost immediately, even less, all those tutorials on How To [fill in the blank] that would make my life convenient. Lastly, I would have to find another way to entertain myself because my happiness practically comes from reading online and video streaming.

What would I do if I only have one hour left to access the internet?

I never think of it, but maybe, first, I would be grieving over it. Because I spend more than 80% of my time online, specifically my job. Losing internet pretty much  losing my job too. But since I could switch my mood as fast as changing TV channels, I'll better in a blink of an eye. So after grieving a little I would try to back up all of contact information of my family and friends. Although I am glad that it would be hard for people to reach me after the shutting down, I would still need human contact in my life. Then, I would download as many movies, TV series,and dramas as possible in one hour since I think everything would be costly after that. And finally, my pictures in Instagram and Facebook. I would retrieve them offline so I could reminiscing my past whenever I want to. As for Information, I think we would be forced to do it in old fashion ways, newspaper, magazine, libraries.. So inconvenient.

Writing  this makes me realize that internet is such a huge thing, not that I am not aware of it, but I never realized it is a big part of our life, our generation. We are so used to something instant and fast that it has become a habit. Detaching ourselves from internet would probably create significant hassle and make us vulnerable. We will be induced to do more effort to do things, and get slower responses. one thing that certain is, I wouldn't want internet to disappear. Because I am lazy as fudge...

NEW YEAR NEW HOPES

Another year comes and another year goes..

HAPPY 2018!!!

I don't know how 2017 had been treating you, but whoever and wherever you are, please, STAY HAPPY, STAY POSITIVE. You have every right to surround yourselves with whatever makes you smile.

And someone out there are looking forward to meet a beautiful soul like you :)  

A WEEK IN LOMBOK

The journey to Lombok began with my random tendency at its finest. One day, I decided I had enough of the rowdy lifestyle of Jakarta and I wanted to have a short escape to revive myself in somewhere quiet, and the next thing I knew, I was in Lombok. I dragged my friend to tag along, because I am not ready to be a solo traveler just yet. So, I took evening flight from Jakarta, and landed safely at 8.30 PM at Lombok International Airport. Then, my dear, dear friend whom already there prior to my arrival picked me up and got ourselves to the hotel at Praya.

The cities in Lombok were most likely didn’t have any means of public transportations. So you should either have your stay planned by a travel agency to make your life easier, or rent a bike/car. As for me and my friend, we chose the cheapest way possible, which was renting a bike. We spend about IDR 75.000 for the bike/day

When the sun shined the next morning, we prepared ourselves to begin our trip to Kuta, then checking out of the hotel. The thing I love about the trip from Praya to Kuta was the peaceful silence, and the lavish greenery it offered. Heavy traffic was nonexistent, as if these two cities didn’t recognize the idea of traffic jam. Along the way, we made a stop on a traditional village of Sasak Tribe namely Ende Village, and took a few picture before continuing our journey.

Sasak Ende Village

The first time I set my foot in Kuta Mandalika beach, my heart was in awe. I was overexcited, because who would not? For the lack of a better word, the beach was so beautiful. It was a luxury refreshment to see a blanket of turquoise oceans compared to a dull grayish vibe of Jakarta that I have to see every single day. After feasting on the beautiful beach, we took a stroll on Seger beach. The soft white sands of Seger Beach encouraged us to keep walking by the seashore as we indulged ourselves in the calming sound of the waves, and the gentle wind that caressed our exposed skin. After we were satisfied strolling and playing around, we went back to the hotel to clean ourselves and called it a day as the rain started to fall.

Seger Beach

Kuta Mandalika

On the second day we went to Bukit Merese (Merese Hill). It was 20 – 35 minutes from kuta by a speeding bike. Lol, we sped up a lot in Lombok because the roads, most of the times were so deserted. We couldn’t resist when the chances presented themselves (don’t do this unless you are an experienced rider). Bukit Merese is formed by layers of hills that stood aligned, which the surface was covered by green grass on every single inch of it. Being there reminded me of the hill in the Teletubbies shows, back in 90s. Here we could see the exquisiteness of the ocean in different perspective, because, well, we could enjoy the sight of sea shelf from above, and saw a refined gradation of turquoise blue to dark blue color that signify the deeper part of the ocean. The locals said Bukit Merese was a perfect spot to watch the sunset, because there is nothing to obstruct your sight, no buildings, no mountains, nothing. You could see the sun set and disappear behind the horizon. Although we don’t have time until sunset because we have to move onto the next city, we hoped there would be another chance for us to watch the infamous sunset at Bukit Merese.

Tanjung Ann

Bukit Merese

Since the distance from Kuta to Mataram was quite far, we decided to take Damri Bus. After checking out, we traced our way back to Sengkol where the Airport was, and took Damri to Mataram. There weren’t much to say from the capital city of West Nusa Tenggara. Just like any other capital city, I can see that Mataram is the most advance and crowded place in Lombok, but still, I like it better than Jakarta. We visited Senggigi Beach and Pure Batu Bolong. These two visits were not satisfactory for us. The beach were dirty and the temple was nothing special, so we just strolling around the town and had an early dinner.

Mawun Beach

For the third day, we went to Bangsal Harbour, and purchased a boat ticket to Gili Trawangan. It took us about 45 minutes to reach Gili Trawangan by slow boat. And my first impression of Gili Trawangan? The island was nothing at all like I expected. It was too crowded and too festive to my liking. This place was for someone who like to party and enjoy the noise. As for me, I was slightly regretting our decision to spend 2 nights here, but since we have already paid for everything, going back to Lombok Island was not a choice. We got settled in our hotel and rented a bicycle to cycle around the Island. We spent about one hour before stopping for an ice cream, but my mood was still sour. I mean, we had been cycling for an hour but we couldn’t find a single spot to enjoy the beach, even when we did find a quiet place, the view wasn’t very nice. Moreover, the locals were coming off too strong for my timid personality, so I found them a little bit frightening. Fortunately, the next day was better. We spent the day snorkeling and hopping from Island to Island, and on the evening, we treated ourselves for a fancy dinner as a remedy for our bad first day here. As the night went, we strolled around and try to enjoy the festivities of the night market. Gili Trawangan night life wasn’t so bad after all.

Gili Air

Snorkeling at Gili Trawangan

Hopping Gili Islands

sunrise at Gili Trawangan

We took the first boat back to Lombok the next morning, but since our flight got delayed until the next day, we decided to go back to Kuta, for Kuta was the highlight of our trip. On this extra last day, we went to Mawun Beach, and once again visited Bukit Merese to finally watch the sunset there. The sunset was Majestic. It left me feeling bittersweet actually, because this was the last day. These past few days were like living a dream, and soon I had to come back to my reality. When the night fall, we got back to Kuta Mandalika and had a night dip. Me and my friend swam by the shore as we were stargazing. It was quite romantic I would say.

All in all, my Lombok trip was amazing. Most of the beaches were otherworldly beautiful. No picture I have taken could do the justice on how magnificent they were. I hope one day I can come back here and do more exploration. Because one week was just not enough.  

MY BRAIN WORKS IN A SNAIL PACE

I am a slow learner. It surprised me the first time I realized that fact, like, having one more thing to feel ashamed of myself didn't make me feel good at all. Moreover, when you work in a fast-paced environment, when everyone expect you to digest everything in one go, when everyone doesn't want you to be a hindrance. I am struggling here, but I'll hanging there.

Now, I'm gonna give my self some times to sulk in the corner and ponder about my life. Ciao~

THAT 8 AM SUNLIGHT

For me choosing a house that facing the direction of the sunlight was one of the best decisions my mother have ever done. That sunlight on 8 AM, let me tell you how it feels like...

Like a warm embrace, that 8 AM sunlight deprive all your sleepiness away. It continues to caress your skin and gently wakes you up from your slumber. That short-lived free luxury you often take for granted, it gives you its kindness by giving you a bit of its energy to start your day.

And don't forget the bonuses: decreases your blood sugar, gives you free vitamin D, increases your bone and respiratory functions, also your immunity, and many more.

You are welcome!


XOXO

 

PARADOX

Human beings are amazing. We are capable of feeling so many emotions at one time, and more often than not they are against each other, that we don't know which one is more dominant . Sad, but happy and relieved. Scared and worried, yet courageous. Possessive, but trying to let go, and so on.

Human emotion is the epitome of paradox. We are weak because we have emotions, but on the other side, our strength comes from the emotion we have.

MOOD

A big and sincere hug would be nice. I could also use an ice cream, and a life time insurance.

SUPERNOVA

I just finished Dewi Lestari's novel series, Supernova, and it is not exaggerating to say that the book was mind blowing. I knew how fall behind I was, since the first book was released more than 10 years ago, but the perks is, I didn't have to wait years after years for the series to finally completed like everyone else.

So my thoughts about them?

The first book, Kesatria, Putri, dan Bintang Jatuh was quite challenging. I need to read the first 10 pages twice or trice, or more, to really understand what the book was trying to tell. Really, I was a literature student, not physics. For me to read a fiction which has so many, if not much, physics terminologies in one page was too much. My brain refused to digest, and make some senses out of them.

As I was keep going, I began to see the plot was actually so simple (or was it?), and maybe if you are a conservative person, you would think that this book has low moral values. I mean, it was about a beautiful woman who had already married to your typical handsome, rich, loving, and loyal fictional character of a man. Yet, this woman felt dissatisfied with her husband, and had an affair, even sex with another your typical handsome, rich, loving, and loyal fictional character of a man. How ungrateful a woman could be? There also this high class prostitute with the intelligence of Einstein, and rate herself with a large number of Dollar instead of Rupiah. Don't forget about the gay couple who played their roles as if they are the narrators in the story. 

See? couldn't you see how absurd and immoral this story all about? Little did I know it was only what's on the surface.

Turned out the story was not as simple as I thought. The first book ended with a lot of mysteries and unanswered questions of who and why. Then, I continued to read the second, and third book. Akar and Petir. In these two books, my brain was given a chance to rest a little. It didn't mean that the stories are less interesting though. In fact, my questions were adding up. Akar and Petir were told from a two different characters which has no relationship at all, but they have one similarity. Both are orphaned. Still, I couldn't really see where this story was actually going, even though I had my own theories.

What hooked me up was how Dee stringed her sentences in the story, and how the characters expressed themselves through their dialogues. She chose, and threaded every single word carefully which made the book beautiful to read. Sometimes they are so philosophical, that made me stop reading for a minute or two to contemplate these words.

My theories were proven to be true in the fourth and fifth book Partikel and Gelombang. Let me tell you, reading these novels were like reading I am Number Four by Pittacus Lore, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and Sophie's World by Joestein Gaarder, altogether. Of course minus the galactical war, explosions, deadly weapons, hidden treasure, and all that stuff. But all these characters, even though Dee didn't explicitly told us they were an alien, I would still think that they are some extraterrestrial beings which have this superior consciousness, and made them questions everything, even their own existence, and without realizing it, they have to go through certain journeys or sequences in their lives, until finally, they got their answers. Like seeing a baby grows up, I love how Dee put these sequences in the characters' lives. It gave me better understanding of why they are the way they are.

Finally in the sixth book, Intelegensi Embun Pagi, everything was explained in such a palpable way, like how usually history teachers explain their subject, almost boring. No more riddles, no more hidden messages, no more confusing words. I actually a little bit disappointed about the way everything is revealed, because I love the first five books for how Dee played with words. Looking past my minor dissatisfaction, reading the rest of the book was like watching a thriller in a cinema, you wouldn't be able to sit still. Like when my brain hadn't given a rest in the first book, this time was my heart. All these characters were running against time, and the events in this stories were arranged in such a way that kept me flip pages after pages without wanting to stop, Yes it was that addicting.

The stories was completed with an open ending. Probably many people were disappointed because this series has been going for 15 years, yet still there was no closure for us, the readers. But I think it is the right way to end the story, it gives us so many possibilities about the fate of all characters, and who knows that maybe one day Dee would continue this story with a different frame, different setting, or even different universe... who knows.

REGRET

I want to be that person whom able to say “I regret nothing, because my past make me who I am today”. I thought I was that wise.

My biggest regret is, I was an ignorant child. My thinking wasn’t critical enough, and I wasn’t as curious as a cat. I was too keen on my study, and blinded by the idea ‘you need to have good grades if you want to be success.’ I accepted almost everything without any desire to question it, until a while ago I realize that this is not the knowledge I need.

I am not talking about the knowledge we are mandated to have for almost a quarter of our life at local schools, because whether you like it or not, the schools we have attended to didn’t teach us how to live our live, or how to find a job. Like Neil Gaiman said, they don’t teach you how to love someone. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich, or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.

If I could go back to meet the 15 years old me,I'd tell her not to memorize that crazy math formulas you wouldn’t even use later in your life, but to absorb and learn all the information you would need from those famous people. How to have a dream bigger than their reality, how to fall and get up, how to struggle and never give up. Don’t take that numbers, or the impossibly high standard that your teachers had set on the stones for every freaking subjects too seriously. Even teachers only know shit about their own subject. Your life span is limited, and you don’t have to be an expert in everything. Choose one, or two, and be amazingly knowledgeable about it. That’s how you find your success.

Or, I could tell her don't adult. THAT IS A TRAP

BUT, since I am already 23 and I never had future me to give the warning, today I can only catch up. On my own pace.

Tulisan Prof. Quraish Shihab untuk Najwa Shihab

"Keberuntungan" kadang memainkan perannya dalam kehidupan manusia, sekalipun kerap tidak masuk akal. 

Karena itulah takdir mereka.

Boleh jadi keterlambatanmu dari suatu perjalanan adalah keselamatanmu

Boleh jadi tertundanya pernikahanmu adalah suatu keberkahan

Boleh jadi dipecatnya engkau dari pekerjaan adalah suatu maslahat

Boleh jadi sampai sekarang engkau belum dikarunia anak itu adalah kebaikan dalam hidupmu.

Boleh jadi engkau membenci sesuatu tapi ternyata itu baik untukmu, karena Allah Maha Mengetahui Sedangkan engkau tidak mengetahui.

Sebab itu, jangan engkau merasa gundah terhadap segala sesuatu yang terjadi padamu, karena semuanya sudah atas izin Allah

Jangan banyak mengeluh karena hanya akan menambah kegelisahan.

Perbanyaklah bersyukur, Alhamdulillah, itu yang akan mendatangkan kebahagiaan.

Terus ucap Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, sampai engkau tak mampu lagi mengucapkannya.

Selama kita masih bisa tidur tanpa obat tidur, kita masih bisa bangun tidur hanya dengan satu bunyi suara, kita terbangun tanpa melihat adanya alat-alat medis yang menempel di tubuh kita, itu pertanda bahwa kita hidup sejahtera.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, ucapkan sampai engkau tak mampu lagi mengucapkannya.

Jangan selalu melihat ke belakang karena disana ada masa lalu yang menghantuimu. Jangan selalu melihat ke depan karena terkadang ada masa depan yang membuatmu gelisah.

Namun lihatlah ke atas karena di sana ada Allah yang membuatmu bahagia.

Tidak harus banyak teman agar engkau menjadi populer, singa sang raja hutan lebih sering berjalan sendirian. Tapi kawanan domba selalu bergerombol.

Jari-jari juga demikian; kelingking, jari manis, jari tengah, jari telunjuk, semuanya berjajar bersampingan kecuali jari jempol dia yang paling jauh diantara keempat itu.

Namun perhatikan engkau akan terkejut kalau semua jari-jari itu tidak akan bisa berfungsi dengan baik tanpa adanya jempol yang sendiri yang jauh dari mereka.

Karena itu, sebenarnya yang diperhitungkan bukanlah jumlah teman yang ada di sekelilingmu akan tetapi banyaknya cinta dan manfaat yang ada di sekitarmu, sekalipun engkau jauh dari mereka.

Menyibukkan diri dalam pekerjaan akan menyelamatkan dirimu dari tiga masalah; yaitu kebosanan, kehinaan, dan kemiskinan.

Aku tidak pernah mengetahui adanya rumus kesuksesan, tapi aku menyadari bahwa "rumus kegagalan adalah sikap asal semua orang".

Teman itu seperti anak tangga, boleh jadi ia membawamu ke atas atau ternyata sebaliknya membawamu ke bawah, maka hati-hatilah anak tangga mana yang sedang engkau lalui.

Hidup ini akan terus berlanjut baik itu engkau tertawa ataupun menangis, karena itu jangan jadikan hidupmu penuh kesedihan yang tidak bermanfaat sama sekali.

Berlapang dadalah, maafkanlah, dan serahkan urusan manusia kepada Tuhan, karena engkau, mereka, dan kita semua, semuanya akan berpulang kepadaNya.

Jangan tinggalkan sholatmu sekali pun. Karena di sana, jutaan manusia yang berada di bawah tanah, sedang berharap sekiranya mereka diperbolehkan kembali hidup mereka akan bersujud kepada Allah SWT walau sekali sujud.

Jangan selalu bersandar pada cinta, karena itu jarang terjadi.

Jangan bersandar kepada manusia karena ia akan pergi.

Tapi bersandarlah kepada Allah SWT, Tuhan YME, karena Dialah yang menentukan segala nya... 

Amin