I am soon to be 25, and long before I was reaching this age I used to think I would be a really cool adult with intellectuality of Einstein that could handle everything by myself at 25.
Turns out I still am the old me with the mentality of teenager. Growing up sucks. I took the time when the hardest problem in my life was homeworks and assignments for granted.
Skip to the main point of the topic, one of my quarter life crisis beside my social life (or the lack of it) and my career, is my unattended relationship. I wonder why does our society expecting us 'the young maiden around 24-27ish' to already have our significant others and have our marriage date set on the stone. Seolah-olah a nosy question like 'kapan nikah' terus-terusan akan mempercepat datangnya jodoh. Duh. I don't feel the pressure though, it's just, I got this wishy-washy question quite a lot that it is getting on my nerve.
For me, people are over-using this question. It is used when we don't have anymore topic to converse but we want to keep talking anyway. That's why I find pertanyaan 'kapan nikah' empty and lack of sincerity. I mean come on dude, to start a small talk you can always have anything more genuine to ask like, how's life? Why does earth revolve around the sun? What would happen if it does the other way around? Do you know in the future human will have a chip planted inside their body? ANYTHING at all, you know. Be creative.
Mungkin mereka juga iseng nanya karena I go solo literally everytime, even ke occasion yang umumnya makhluk seumuran gue bawa partner (kondangan, arisan keluarga. red). But hey, I couldn't find anyone as incredible as me. So I decided to date myself.
To answer that question, just in case one of those people who ask me 'kapan nikah' was actually genuine and really have a concern about my well-being, this is your answer: I will get married when I finally find someone who can put up with my ridiculous-over thinking-indcisive-self for a very long time. Other than that, I am fine by myself.
Marriage means spending your whole life with someone and it is not a joke. I have seen many unhappy married couple, including my parents. Their marriage life turned sour when their partner is not what they expected to be. And I don't want to sign up for that.
In my opinion marriage is a teamwork. It's like a pilot with his co-pilot. They work together and help each other. When you have disagreement, compromise. When you expect something from your partner, tell them. When you are grateful, say thanks. When you are sorry, apologise. I don't know why so many people fail to see that.
Also, I don't do patriarchal practice where the wife should do this and the husband could do that. I am no feminist, but I appreciate people who know how to treat their women.
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