The Sound of Silence

Silence is deafening.

In silence, every sounds becomes more prominent, because nothing is prefectly still. Including our minds.

As a person who don't talk much, I have the loudest mind. I observe, I assess, I judge, then I try to co-exist. And I am pretty much selective on who and how I spend my energy with.

My silence could be everything.
It means yes, it means no, it means I like you, It means I don't like you, it means I miss you but I prefer to keep it to myself, it means I don't care anymore, it means I have no energy to talk but your company is needed, it means leave me alone, it means I care about you but I don't know the way to express it, and so on

The people in my life who actually understand the sound of my silence are like gemstones. They are precious.

And above all, the sound of my silence are like 2 AM tic-tocs. Honest and real

A Broken Promise

Been neglecting my own commitment since day 1.

Saying I will start writing... anything at all, but my real life kind of get in the way

I feel like I am losing not only my self, but also my social life as well. Omg being a lazy girl with a busy life is hard

The Vessel

Your happiness could be someone else's hard work. Your smile could be someone else's  pain. Your trivial decisions could have a big impact to somebody else's. Good or bad. You see, everything in life has its price of equal value. Doesn't matter how big or small, doesn't matter how or who, you have to sacrifice in order to gain.

Now, what do you think of the price for a second chance?

 

STARTING

You know those feelings when the world around you has so much going on but you choose to stay at your bed, procrastinating. The bed was so comfy you don't want to let go.

That is where I am right now. I feel like I am waaaay to comfortable (or lazy) with my life to the point where I have stopped growing. I don't write as much as I did in the past, well, though everything that I have written were never past the intorductory part or just a mere snippets of my insignificant characters' dialogues. I never finish my painting even though I had promised myself that I would do it on weekends. I don't go doing exercise anymore because, well, my bed is too inviting.

It got me thinking that I have so many unfulfilled commitments with myself because I get bored easily. I don't finish what I have started once I think they have become too burdensome, and this is bad. The problem with me is I am too impatient. I expect everything I do should be perfect in one go, keep forgetting that even the most skillful writers or painters will have to learn forever.

I really want to get rid of this bad habit, so I come up with this idea to start writing project for myself, where I will force myself to write every.single.day in this blog. I am not sure if I would write every day (see? I just set up a goal but already trying to avoid it almost immediately) but I will try as often as I could.

Somewhere Between Giving Up and Seeing How Much More I Can Take

I am at a point in my life where I won't force things anymore. What happens, happens...

What Would You Do With Your Last Hour of Internet?

As a generation that was born into an advance of technology, we couldn’t deny that our biggest treasure and major breakthrough of this world is internet access. Internet makes us unstoppable, it makes us think there is nothing we couldn’t do. Every information that we need, we could have it just by a single click. Well, except for some websites that need a special permission to be accessed into, or those secret information that heavily secured. But still, you get my point. Even I could get my bachelor degree on time thanks to the internet. We got an easier life than our forefather and fathers before him which makes us lazy. We got so attached to it, and would find functioning our daily lives without a single access to internet quite difficult, or rather irritating.

So what if by some odd reasons, you only have an hour left of internet before it shutting down forever. What would you do?

My biggest loss should I couldn't access the internet anymore is my life saver, Google Maps. My sense of direction is really poor that it took me sometime to get home from my office without getting lost first. I need to go through particular directions for a number of time before I could finally memorize them. Another loss is source of information. I question Google for everything. It is my next source of information after my mother, where I could get answers almost immediately, even less, all those tutorials on How To [fill in the blank] that would make my life convenient. Lastly, I would have to find another way to entertain myself because my happiness practically comes from reading online and video streaming.

What would I do if I only have one hour left to access the internet?

I never think of it, but maybe, first, I would be grieving over it. Because I spend more than 80% of my time online, specifically my job. Losing internet pretty much  losing my job too. But since I could switch my mood as fast as changing TV channels, I'll better in a blink of an eye. So after grieving a little I would try to back up all of contact information of my family and friends. Although I am glad that it would be hard for people to reach me after the shutting down, I would still need human contact in my life. Then, I would download as many movies, TV series,and dramas as possible in one hour since I think everything would be costly after that. And finally, my pictures in Instagram and Facebook. I would retrieve them offline so I could reminiscing my past whenever I want to. As for Information, I think we would be forced to do it in old fashion ways, newspaper, magazine, libraries.. So inconvenient.

Writing  this makes me realize that internet is such a huge thing, not that I am not aware of it, but I never realized it is a big part of our life, our generation. We are so used to something instant and fast that it has become a habit. Detaching ourselves from internet would probably create significant hassle and make us vulnerable. We will be induced to do more effort to do things, and get slower responses. one thing that certain is, I wouldn't want internet to disappear. Because I am lazy as fudge...

NEW YEAR NEW HOPES

Another year comes and another year goes..

HAPPY 2018!!!

I don't know how 2017 had been treating you, but whoever and wherever you are, please, STAY HAPPY, STAY POSITIVE. You have every right to surround yourselves with whatever makes you smile.

And someone out there are looking forward to meet a beautiful soul like you :)  

A WEEK IN LOMBOK

The journey to Lombok began with my random tendency at its finest. One day, I decided I had enough of the rowdy lifestyle of Jakarta and I wanted to have a short escape to revive myself in somewhere quiet, and the next thing I knew, I was in Lombok. I dragged my friend to tag along, because I am not ready to be a solo traveler just yet. So, I took evening flight from Jakarta, and landed safely at 8.30 PM at Lombok International Airport. Then, my dear, dear friend whom already there prior to my arrival picked me up and got ourselves to the hotel at Praya.

The cities in Lombok were most likely didn’t have any means of public transportations. So you should either have your stay planned by a travel agency to make your life easier, or rent a bike/car. As for me and my friend, we chose the cheapest way possible, which was renting a bike. We spend about IDR 75.000 for the bike/day

When the sun shined the next morning, we prepared ourselves to begin our trip to Kuta, then checking out of the hotel. The thing I love about the trip from Praya to Kuta was the peaceful silence, and the lavish greenery it offered. Heavy traffic was nonexistent, as if these two cities didn’t recognize the idea of traffic jam. Along the way, we made a stop on a traditional village of Sasak Tribe namely Ende Village, and took a few picture before continuing our journey.

Sasak Ende Village

The first time I set my foot in Kuta Mandalika beach, my heart was in awe. I was overexcited, because who would not? For the lack of a better word, the beach was so beautiful. It was a luxury refreshment to see a blanket of turquoise oceans compared to a dull grayish vibe of Jakarta that I have to see every single day. After feasting on the beautiful beach, we took a stroll on Seger beach. The soft white sands of Seger Beach encouraged us to keep walking by the seashore as we indulged ourselves in the calming sound of the waves, and the gentle wind that caressed our exposed skin. After we were satisfied strolling and playing around, we went back to the hotel to clean ourselves and called it a day as the rain started to fall.

Seger Beach

Kuta Mandalika

On the second day we went to Bukit Merese (Merese Hill). It was 20 – 35 minutes from kuta by a speeding bike. Lol, we sped up a lot in Lombok because the roads, most of the times were so deserted. We couldn’t resist when the chances presented themselves (don’t do this unless you are an experienced rider). Bukit Merese is formed by layers of hills that stood aligned, which the surface was covered by green grass on every single inch of it. Being there reminded me of the hill in the Teletubbies shows, back in 90s. Here we could see the exquisiteness of the ocean in different perspective, because, well, we could enjoy the sight of sea shelf from above, and saw a refined gradation of turquoise blue to dark blue color that signify the deeper part of the ocean. The locals said Bukit Merese was a perfect spot to watch the sunset, because there is nothing to obstruct your sight, no buildings, no mountains, nothing. You could see the sun set and disappear behind the horizon. Although we don’t have time until sunset because we have to move onto the next city, we hoped there would be another chance for us to watch the infamous sunset at Bukit Merese.

Tanjung Ann

Bukit Merese

Since the distance from Kuta to Mataram was quite far, we decided to take Damri Bus. After checking out, we traced our way back to Sengkol where the Airport was, and took Damri to Mataram. There weren’t much to say from the capital city of West Nusa Tenggara. Just like any other capital city, I can see that Mataram is the most advance and crowded place in Lombok, but still, I like it better than Jakarta. We visited Senggigi Beach and Pure Batu Bolong. These two visits were not satisfactory for us. The beach were dirty and the temple was nothing special, so we just strolling around the town and had an early dinner.

Mawun Beach

For the third day, we went to Bangsal Harbour, and purchased a boat ticket to Gili Trawangan. It took us about 45 minutes to reach Gili Trawangan by slow boat. And my first impression of Gili Trawangan? The island was nothing at all like I expected. It was too crowded and too festive to my liking. This place was for someone who like to party and enjoy the noise. As for me, I was slightly regretting our decision to spend 2 nights here, but since we have already paid for everything, going back to Lombok Island was not a choice. We got settled in our hotel and rented a bicycle to cycle around the Island. We spent about one hour before stopping for an ice cream, but my mood was still sour. I mean, we had been cycling for an hour but we couldn’t find a single spot to enjoy the beach, even when we did find a quiet place, the view wasn’t very nice. Moreover, the locals were coming off too strong for my timid personality, so I found them a little bit frightening. Fortunately, the next day was better. We spent the day snorkeling and hopping from Island to Island, and on the evening, we treated ourselves for a fancy dinner as a remedy for our bad first day here. As the night went, we strolled around and try to enjoy the festivities of the night market. Gili Trawangan night life wasn’t so bad after all.

Gili Air

Snorkeling at Gili Trawangan

Hopping Gili Islands

sunrise at Gili Trawangan

We took the first boat back to Lombok the next morning, but since our flight got delayed until the next day, we decided to go back to Kuta, for Kuta was the highlight of our trip. On this extra last day, we went to Mawun Beach, and once again visited Bukit Merese to finally watch the sunset there. The sunset was Majestic. It left me feeling bittersweet actually, because this was the last day. These past few days were like living a dream, and soon I had to come back to my reality. When the night fall, we got back to Kuta Mandalika and had a night dip. Me and my friend swam by the shore as we were stargazing. It was quite romantic I would say.

All in all, my Lombok trip was amazing. Most of the beaches were otherworldly beautiful. No picture I have taken could do the justice on how magnificent they were. I hope one day I can come back here and do more exploration. Because one week was just not enough.  

MY BRAIN WORKS IN A SNAIL PACE

I am a slow learner. It surprised me the first time I realized that fact, like, having one more thing to feel ashamed of myself didn't make me feel good at all. Moreover, when you work in a fast-paced environment, when everyone expect you to digest everything in one go, when everyone doesn't want you to be a hindrance. I am struggling here, but I'll hanging there.

Now, I'm gonna give my self some times to sulk in the corner and ponder about my life. Ciao~

THAT 8 AM SUNLIGHT

For me choosing a house that facing the direction of the sunlight was one of the best decisions my mother have ever done. That sunlight on 8 AM, let me tell you how it feels like...

Like a warm embrace, that 8 AM sunlight deprive all your sleepiness away. It continues to caress your skin and gently wakes you up from your slumber. That short-lived free luxury you often take for granted, it gives you its kindness by giving you a bit of its energy to start your day.

And don't forget the bonuses: decreases your blood sugar, gives you free vitamin D, increases your bone and respiratory functions, also your immunity, and many more.

You are welcome!


XOXO

 

PARADOX

Human beings are amazing. We are capable of feeling so many emotions at one time, and more often than not they are against each other, that we don't know which one is more dominant . Sad, but happy and relieved. Scared and worried, yet courageous. Possessive, but trying to let go, and so on.

Human emotion is the epitome of paradox. We are weak because we have emotions, but on the other side, our strength comes from the emotion we have.